Saturday, December 8, 2012

Birthdays, Fear, and Whatnot

Life goes on and I don't post.  That is how this blog goes really.  If you don't know that by now, must be new.  But if you are new, know that I intend to post more often.  If you are not new, you will know that that is not the first time I have said that. (or the second...or even the third)

My 40th birthday is next week.  That has been on my mind a lot lately.  Not fear of growing old (though there is some) or longing to be young (though there is some) but there are a lot of regrets for things that I have not done.  Not the important stuff (mostly) like spending time with my husband and kids.  Trust me, I get plenty of family time.  But, things like becoming a writer, or artist, or crafter.  I even found myself thinking things like it is too late to try new things, etc.  DH talked me out of that bit of nonsense.  As long as I am still breathing there is no reason that should be all I am doing.

You wouldn't think it to read a mostly abandoned blog, but I am somewhat shy in real life.  Once I know someone I open up, but around strangers I am very quiet, worried about what they will think, and afraid of getting into trouble.  Made for a model student in public school, but as an adult it leaves me lonely (other than DH and the kids.)  One of the things I have planned for after 40 is to shed that straight jacket.  OF course, that may lead to people believing I should actually be IN a straight jacket.  But what do I care what they think?! (Unless they are a judge with the power to commit me, in which case,  "I was just acting silly, Your Honor.")

One of my themes for this year has been getting rid of fear (in situations where it is not needed) and I plan to continue that as I move into my next decade.

I'll keep you posted ( on how things are going.  Including pics of the world outside that my social anxiety has kept me from enjoying, or even seeing sometimes.

Until then, here is a random picture already on my computer that I have not even chosen yet as I type this.  (Off to browse...)
It is my 12 inch 10th Doctor saying that I have every right to be a writer.  (and by association, anything else I want that doesn't require years of schooling, and even if it DOES,  I am not too old to get that schooling!)

Now, blog post made, I am off to knit something.  (I am NOT getting OLD!!!!)